Strangely Intimate….

My colleague Prasanna borrowed a magazine from library. While reading it, I just came across an interesting article. I thought I should type down my thoughts on it. This article is about a women’s personal experience on her love towards her husband. I don’t want to talk about her. But I just wanted to share the crux of the article.

We may not be able to find a life partner with similar thoughts, likes etc. This generation is facing a war between love and arranged marriage. In both we don’t find our partner having similar thoughts in each and everything in life. We can surely learn to love those differences. He may not dance with you, he may not get beautiful flowers for u, he may not be romantic or she may not enjoy watching cricket with u, she may not cook your favorite food deliciously, she may not stop complaining about your mom. Still you patiently listen to her. Still she silently waits for you at door for u to return back from work.

Despite all these differences and clashes you still love each other. Just stop searching yourself within the other…trying to change them the way you like…wanting them to understand what you wish. Because you are gonna fail trying to change. Even if they change, it is just temporary or nam ke vaaste just to pose in front of you. Behind you they continue to remain the same. Instead of forcing yourself to change for others or changing others for you, learn to enjoy the differences. Enjoy the fights. Enjoy the tears. Enjoy the laugh. Only then you are unique, you don’t loose yourself.

Generations back our mothers or our grandmothers sacrificed themselves, their desires to satisfy their husbands need some times in other way around. But now we don’t want to give away our desires and dreams. Everyone wants to fly.

In tamil literature there is a beautiful word called oodaal. Oodaal is anger between the couple which will be solved at any moment. Oodaal is due to love on each other. Fight is something which can’t be solved.

So oodaal is a must in a love and not fight. Oodaal strengthens the bond and fight creates a crack. These cracks don’t join perfectly once it’s broken.

Marriage or love is a three legged race. We have one of our legs tied together and one free. With the one free we must explore our individuality, our uniqueness. And with the one tied together we must realize what intimacy is. To win the race, we need to balance both – our separateness and our togetherness.

We would be happy if we are able to understand individual desires and dreams. Thus we can avoid unnecessary fights and heart breaks. Live and let live. Because most of the problems comes from not wanting to see things as they are.

This not only works for couples but also to any relation existing in this world who is close to your heart.